


Exhale

by DillonPower



Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 11:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20488247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DillonPower/pseuds/DillonPower
Summary: When he hears Guzman say something that could possibly make him seem homophobic, Ander starts freaking out and worried if Guzman will still be his friend. After acting weird, Guzman grows concerned. Ander is caught up with his thoughts and comes out, but he gets an unexpecting response.





	Exhale

Ander grabs his lunch tray from the end of the cafeteria line and stands to the side. He looks around the room. He could sit at his usual table, where Guzman and Polo are sitting at, but still stands and looks. Seeing the entire cafeteria for the first time made his hands shake. People are walking to tables as if it’s programmed in their minds that that table is where they are supposed to be at. He notices all the different cliques: nerds, druggies, soccer players, and all the other groups compromised of kids who were friends since forever. That’s the group he had made with Guzman and Polo. And it’s the group that he’s currently contemplating going to.

Guzman notices Ander standing and waves to him, wanting him to come sit with them. Ander gulps. Fear hitting him harder by the second. He knows he shouldn’t be afraid of his friends, but his day so far has been a wreck. He woke up late and missed his first class, he practically failed his pop quiz, and Omar cancelled their date for that night. Although all that was bad, none of that is why he’s afraid right now. The worst thing today, and possibly ever, happened just before lunch.

Ander was at his locker getting stuff for his later classes. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Guzman walking with Lu. Lu was on her phone, like always, and she was showing Guzman a video of what Ander could only identify as two guys playing Gay Chicken. Basically it’s a game where two straight guys go for a kiss and whichever one pulls away first is the gay chicken. Ander thought it was a weird game since he wondered why would straight guys even do that. Possibly because if they refused it was proving they were gay? Or they were ‘straighter’ if they participated and didn’t pull back? The more Ander thought about it, the more confused he got. Straight boys are confusing. 

Anyway, as Guzman was watching the video, Lu asked him if he would ever participate. That comment made Ander listen closely. 

Guzman chuckled weirdly and shook his head. “Nah. Not my thing.”

“What isn’t?” Lu asked as she clicked a different video. This time a different take on the game where the guys touch each other instead of kissing. “You trying to hide something?”

Guzman pushes her phone away from him. “I’m not into dudes.”

“You don’t have to be. It’s just a game.” Lu said as she grinned. She stepped in front of him, stopping them from moving any further. She rubs her hand across his shoulder. “Come on. I think it’ll be so hot to see you try that. The thought of it is already turning me on.”

“Listen,” Guzman states with the coldest and most stern voice Ander has ever heard him use. Ander managed to see his face too, and it’s so serious that it makes Ander worry about what he’s about to say. “I will never do that. Ever. You understand me? I’m not gay, bi, or whatever the fuck else. And games are supposed to be fun, and that’s not fun for me. I don’t want to think about that. It’s weird.”

Guzman moved past Lu and walked towards his class. Ander closed his locker and sprinted to the bathroom. He locked himself in one of the stalls and cried until it was time for his next class. 

Now Ander is still standing in the cafeteria with his tray of chicken parmesan, not knowing where he should sit. At this point he doesn’t see any empty seats. Guzman waves again, smiling. That damn smile is so charming and makes him look adorable, but it could also be the smile of a person who hates Ander’s kind. Another gulp happens before Ander starts slowly moving. He keeps looking around in hope of finding somewhere else to sit. 

Wasting more time by avoiding the table, Guzman got a little impatient and got up to help walk Ander over. He grabs Ander’s shoulder and push him to the chair across from his own. Ander could only stare blankly at Guzman as he sits back down. 

“What’s up with you?” Guzman asks him. “What were you doing standing there?”

Ander couldn’t say the real reason, well, without the extra fear of losing one of his only friends. He picks at his chicken, mumbling. Polo raises an eyebrow and nudges his arm. Ander looks at him, then at Guzman. “Just life, you know. The usual. Thinking about grades and love issues.”

Guzman lets out a faint laugh. “Don’t worry about shit like that. Grades are that important unless you’re a teacher’s favorite since the stupid curve that determines your grade before you take tests. And don’t stress about love, you’ll find the right girl eventually. Just keep trying. Maybe use one of those apps to relieve some stress, if you know what I mean.”

Ander drops his fork on the tray. He looks down, trying to hold in the tears. Why does straight have to be the default? Why do people automatically assume that you’re attracted to the opposite sex? No one ever assumes that he’s gay, only straight as if heterosexuality is the only possible choice. Ander balls up his hand into a fist and hits his leg. All he wants is to tell the truth but is scared. He just holds in his breath and doesn’t say anything.

He looks up at Guzman as he eats. Guzman takes a bite of his turkey sandwich and then takes a sip of his Powerade. All the while the movement is causing his silver chain with the cross on it to shake and bounce on his chest. Ander has noticed that cross from time to time and has never thought anything of it. He knows Guzman is Christian, but he has never really talked about it or mentioned anything he was against because of his religion. Now Ander might be thinking there was one thing he was against. 

Wiping off some mayonnaise from his lips, Guzman looks Ander in his eyes. “Bro, what’s wrong?”

Polo nods slightly. Finally being able to say something. “You’re worrying us.”

Ander looks between the two, his teeth clattering because of how nervous he is. He attempts to open his mouth to say something, but fails to find the words. Instead, he shoves the rest of his food into his mouths and leaves the table. He manages to swallow everything just as he turns the corner and exit the cafeteria. 

He barely walks far before he feels a grip around his wrist. He stops and turns around, seeing Guzman behind him. Guzman lets go, but looks even more concerned than before. Ander wanted to leave, but his feet prevented him. The only thing moving were tears from Ander’s eyes. 

“What’s going on?” Guzman asks him. His voice is stern, yet concerned and caring at the same time. His eyes show that this is the most important moment in the world. “And don’t say nothing. I know you, and something is bothering you.”

Ander cries harder when he takes another look at the cross necklace. He looks to his left and sees a row of lockers and decides to punch it relentlessly. Guzman immediately stops him by grabbing his hand. 

“The hell, man!”

“I hate myself!”

Hearing that, Guzman grew even more worried. He had never seen Ander act like this, not even when he was almost failing every class and might have had to repeat a year. Guzman is near panicking because he doesn’t know what’s going on. “Just talk to me.”

“You’ll hate me.” Ander tells him in between sobs. Tears keep coming and snot was running. Normally he would be scared to show this type of emotion in front of his friends, but he didn’t care. He thought that his friendship isn’t going to last any longer. Why would it even stay. Guzman has certain believes and they probably disagree with him. 

Guzman breathes deep and rests his hand on Ander’s shoulder. He looks him in the eyes and says, “Never. You’ll always be my friend. No matter what, I can handle it.”

Ander manages to calm down a little, but still is freaking out internally. Sure, he’s supportive now, but in a few minutes everything will change. He’ll never want to be friends again once he knows the truth. His face will soon feel the pain is hand is feeling once Guzman finds out. 

“I’m, I-“ Ander stutters. He doesn’t want to finish, but there’s no going back now. “I’m gay.”

Silence. Neither one is able to talk. The longer the silence continues, the more Ander grows worried. The more Ander’s fears are piling up. He wants to continue hitting the lockers, but Guzman is still holding his hands.

Guzman gives a small nod and sighs. “You’re gay?”

Ander nods. 

“Why haven’t you told me yet?” Guzman’s voice sounds like he’s hurt. “I thought I was your best friend.”

Ander is in complete shock. He wasn’t expecting this type of response. He was expecting a more violent and slur filled hate speech from him. “What? You’re not mad?”

“I’m mad that you didn’t tell me sooner. I’m mad that you would think I would me mad.”

“You’re a Christian.”

“So.” Guzman says while sighing. He rubs his hand through his blond hair. He shakes his head in disbelieve at what Ander said. “I’m a Christian, not an asshole.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, I have beliefs. And they are to accept people for who they are and not discriminate, to be a good person, and to not judge others. You really think I’m one of those homophobic jerks?”

Ander cries harder. He doesn’t want to be around Guzman because of him making himself look so stupid. “I’m so sorry. I thought because of your religion, you wouldn’t like me and wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t care that you like guys.”

“What about earlier. When Lu showed you those videos.”

“I didn’t say what I said because of homophobia. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Just before that I was told that I couldn’t get out of a dinner party my parents set up and I was pissed. I let my emotions get the best of me.”

“God, I’m so stupid.”

Ander continues to cry. Guzman pulls him in for a hug, letting Ander place his head on his shoulder. Guzman pats his back, comforting him. “No, you’re not. You’re my friend, forever and always. I love you, Ander. You’re my best friend.”

For the first time today, Ander calms down, no longer crying. The feeling of being this close to Guzman and having his arms wrapped around him feels so soft and comfortable. He also feels like the biggest idiot for ever thinking Guzman would ever hate him. 

“Hey, Ander.” Guzman says. Ander muffles a response wince his head is still in Guzman’s shoulder. “How about you come over to my house over school and stay the night. We can have an old-fashioned bro night. You can tell me more about who you are, and about any boys you like.”

Ander smiles for the first time today. He feels so free from any restraint. He actually has an ally in his life that is completely supportive. At last, he can exhale and let go of all his stress and worries.


End file.
